MothersMantapMusings: The Hindu Wedding Steps

 

The Hindu Ceremony Program Guide Most Hindu marriages follow similar steps. In our case, though both bride and groom's families share the Hindu faith, they come from different backgrounds—Konkani Brahmin and Gujarati Brahmin. We created a celebration that beautifully blended traditions from both communities, thoughtfully weaving in some Western elements to reflect our life in the U.S. Here is an overview of the wedding steps and their significance. Pre-Wedding Events: We began the wedding week with a series of pre-wedding rituals, starting with a combined Nandhi Puja and Udida Muhurat at our (bride's) home with typical Konkani lunch served on banana leaves. Nandhi Puja is held days before a wedding to seek blessings from gods and ancestors for a smooth, obstacle-free celebration. Udida Muhurat is a Konkani ritual where the couple grinds black gram together, symbolizing partnership that reflects shared beginnings of joy and mutual respect. The groom’s side hosted the Haldi and Grahashanti ceremonies with traditional Gujrati lunch. Haldi symbolizes purification and joyful beginnings, while Grahashanti—held just before the wedding—seeks divine blessings as the couple steps into married life. We hosted an intimate Mehndi celebration at home, bringing together the bride’s close friends and family. As vibrant henna patterns adorned the hands of the women, the evening flowed with chaat, chai, and shared laughter. Wedding Day Rituals:
	The Baraat, Groom's entry: The wedding begins with the groom’s lively arrival. The bride’s family greets them with flowers and rose water, honoring the Konkani tradition of Yedur Kansani. In a playful twist, the groom momentarily chooses Kashi Yatra, renouncing worldly life, until the bride’s father persuades him to return and marry. The bride’s mother then welcomes him, playfully holding his nose and guides him to the mandap.
	Ganesh Puja: The ceremony begins with the Pandit welcoming the audience and a prayer to Lord Ganesh, followed by the bride's parents honoring the groom known as Vara Puja.
	Kanya Aagman, Bride’s entry: The bride makes her grand entrance (a western tradition) and then escorted to the mandap by her maternal uncle (a Hindu tradition).
	Jai Mala, Exchange of Garlands: A cloth (antarpatt) separates the bride and groom as the priest chants mangal shlokas. At the muhurat (auspicious time), the cloth is lowered, and they exchange garlands, symbolizing their union.
	Kanyadaan: The bride's parents place her hand in the groom's, entrusting him with the duty to love and care for her.
	The Vermala: A Gujrati tradition where a cotton thread is placed around the couple's necks by the groom's mother. Knot-free, it symbolizes an unbreakable bond and their shared commitment to a united future.
	MangalSutra & Sindoor: The groom ties the mangal sutra (beaded chain) around the bride’s neck and applies sindoor (red powder) to her forehead, marking their marriage—similar to a wedding ring in Western traditions. A Konkani tradition, Dharemani, the bride’s mother ties a gold beaded chain around her daughter's neck, symbolizing protection for a happy married life.
	Mangal Feras: With the sacred fire lit as a divine witness, the groom and bride's sisters ties his dupatta to the bride's, symbolizing their shared bond and responsibilities. The couple then circles the fire four times, each round representing duty, prosperity, love, and spiritual liberation.  Followed by Shilarohan, where the bride steps on seven sacred nuts or stones with her right toe, and the groom supports signifying unity and resilience in their marriage.
	Saptapadi: The seven sacred steps mark the couple’s first journey together, symbolizing seven vows of nourishment, prosperity, joy, harmony, family, and devotion as they grow in their new life.
	Ring Exchange: A western tradition of commitment and bonds between the couple.
	Kansar: The couple shares sweets, symbolizing their bond and support for each other.
	Arundhati Darshanam: The couple is guided to find the faint Arundhati star, symbolizing balance in marriage. Arundhati and Vashishta, her husband, revolve around each other—a concept ancient Hindus understood through advanced astronomy.
	Akhand Sowbhagyavati: Married women bless the bride as the priest chants their blessings, symbolizing community support and marital harmony.
	Vidaai, End of Ceremony: Vidaai (also known as Bidaai) symbolizes the final stage of a wedding, marking the departure of the newly married couple—a poignant transition between families, filled with love, gratitude, and hope.

Note: While typical Konkani and Gujarati Brahmin weddings are rich in rituals, we chose only a few meaningful ones to thread into ours. If you're interested in a typical Konkani Brahmin wedding, I recommend The GSB Vhardik blog or Konkani Wedding : Rituals & Wedding Traditions | WedMeGood And for a glimpse into traditional Gujarati Brahmin weddings,

I recommend Gujrati Brahmin Wedding.